I Took A Detour

I took a detour. 

One that lead me to lust a beautiful blue eyed boy
who pounded me so deep in to ravenous depression,
that in my twisted state of wrath I wholeheartedly believed
I'd never live to see color again. 

Yet after every awful thing that that blue eyed toxin did
He gave me the most breathtaking gift.
He shed me of my nagging naitivity.

He gave me crowds of gluttonous peers in cafeteria's
Groups of people who couldn't comprehend
that it's not a shameful thing
To have a baby when you're still one.

He gave me clarity.
Realization that I am better off than the
sloths who sit in their imagined clerk gowns
Holding platters of poignant pride
and greedily sipping at their chilled flasks, 
half-empty with with the remnants of thier vanity. 

All the while I work.
Knowing I will graduate in just three years 
with a degree most can't even pronounce.
and they will remain in their desk chairs
making not even half what I do,
enviously clicking away at their keyboards. 

And I will smile. I will laugh
I will take my five year old son 
And he will hug me and tell me he's proud of his mommy. 
And I will look right back in to his soft brown eyes and tell him,
Mommy is proud of you, baby. I Love You. 

And every ounce of pain and joy will lead to that very moment. 
And the judges will stand with their gavells. Staring.
And I will stand, at the top of my world. Smiling.
And who would you say has won?


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If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741