I remember it like it was yesterday.
The stale stench of the apartment hallways.
The cold breeze that sent chills down my spine.
Drug addicts lookin for a quick fix.
This was the place my mom stayed at.
I always had this uneasy feeling soon as I stepped into the building.
I climbed the flight of stairs to apartment 420
Staring at the apartment number, I thought how ironic.
I knocked three times and waited.
An unfamiliar face opened the door.
Oh, sorry i croaked in embarassment and turned to walk away when I heard my mother yell out my name
I turned around to her eagerly running towards me, arms spread apart.
I embrace her welcome and step back to look at her.
My stomach begins to turn into knots as my eyes start to water.
Seeing my mother like this pains me whenever I see her.
Wearing raggedy, old clothes, socks with multiple holes in them, and too small shoes she complains are constantly hurting her feet.
I look deep into her eyes and have instant flashbacks of when I was a little girl.
My mom and I were happy and didnt have a care in the world.
Back before my dad walked out on us once he found out she was using.
I miss those days when I was daddy's little girl.
Now everyone knows me as the drug addicts daughter.
It cuts me deep whenever the school kids laugh at me but I dont show it.
At least not to them.
I wait until I am all alone when I cant hold back my tears any longer and ask GOD why me?
I focus back into present day, standing in the hallway with my mothers arms wrapped around me.
She can tell something is wrong. She knows.
Before she gets the chance to ask, I turn and run down the stairs and out the building.
I cant bare another minute being in her presence knowing theres nothing I can do.
She knows that.
And I know that.