I'm still baffled as to how I've made it this far. I'm alive. I'm breathing. I have everyone fooled. 

These people think they know me. They think I'm all fun and games. The laughter is a lie. 

Tears wash my face before I sleep. The pit in my stomach continues to grow. 

Why am I this way? I am so fortunate to have an education and great opportunities infront of me. Why can't I get it together and take the leap?

It's the fear of failure. The fear of the unknown. The inability to act alone. I hold myself back.

"I hate myself." I know I must stop. I am toxic to myself. 

If the person in the mirror were your best friend, would you be as mean to them as you are to yourself?