I Live There Now

 

I made my abode
In a tidy space,
Brightly lit and well-furnished,
Not a thing out of place.

You are perfect.

There wasn't a fault
If you exclude just this one:
This place I called home
Was not mine in the least.

Oh, don't be a fool.

The things that were mine
I packed far away,
Stuffed into moldy boxes
Which sagged from the weight.

A ghastly mess if you asked me.

The cardboard fit neatly,
All stacked in a row--
Yet forlorn and forgotten
In the attic of my soul.

Leave them to rot.

But the fabricated fantasty frayed;
With a rush the curtain tore.
I've had my fill of bleach,
I won't be starched anymore.

You speak madness.

It used to be dusty up here,
In this forsaken place,
But it seems--as of late--
I've a home in that cramped-up space.

Oh please come back.

The ceiling droops its stomach low,
The floor groans with age,
The walls are tired of standing,
And only my boxes remain.

I can give you more.

But my fragmented hopes
And the shards of my dreams
Reflect more truth
Than your world of magazines.

You provoke me so.

If you can't stand the grim, the dirt, and the real,
Leave me to be!
Go back to your plastered life, your china dolls,
And your civilities.

But wait--

I'm better off with a soul
That just rustles by,
Because life is untidy,
And so am I.

(...)

In bleak thoughts,

Fine!

In beautiful chaos,

Go!

In battered worries,

Leave!

In broken humility,

Fool!

In brutal honesty,

Idolater!

In plain sincerity--

 

I LIVE THERE NOW.


(Besides, china dolls only break in the end.)