I grieve


I do not write

I express what is dormant

this is  not a poem

these are words formatted

from the grievings in my soul

the depths of which that is so persecuted

attacks my flesh for opening the door

my heart does not beat with the rythm of life

it instead lies down with the dead

this door that I mentioned which leads to my soul

was opened because of the demand of others

the others who demand love, and never ask to recieve

my soul cries, my heart sings, my bones crack

but my flesh stands still

hiding the pain given to me from my adversary

the pain which is associated whith christ

keeps me seeking the father

I have learned from the reponses of my father

his response was not heard from the heavens


The word did not come down, with the sound of rain and thunder

my adversary who was in the midst

during my prayer, was not struck by lightning

no not exactly

the lord's response came from the love within his saints

that love being the operation of the holy spirit,

made my adversary throw himself into

the lake of fire, taking his followers

who were proud to be part of the others

with him

that operation of love was a gift

a tool, given to a sister

when she was still in her mother's womb

she hides this gift the same way I hide my pain

with her flesh

yet her flesh is radiant, thanks to her soul

where her gift is yerning to be discovered

I have discovered that gift

but I have not recieved

I have asked but still no reponse

she has shown she is willing but unable

for her soul is imprisoned by her own flesh

which is radiant thanks to her soul

but her soul cries due to neglect

spiritually we are connected

our souls lay together at night

tears falll from eyes

hammers pound my head

knowing the peace we have in the spirit

and knowing the distance we have physically

I have defeated my adversary

but she has not

until she defeats the evil one, which she will

I, my soul will grieve

so I was asked why do I write

and my reply was too much to put on paper

but I can grieve

I have grief

so I grieve, until that day we become one

I will grieve

and if I find another

it won't be love

for she is the only one who can comfort, my grief




ricardo paulistin

I wrote this yesterday I felt like God helped me get things out of me that was killing my soul, its like therapy and I'm getting better

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