“I don’t know.”
That’s my answer to every important question I’ve ever heard.
“Don’t you know what you want to be?
What you want to do?
What you like,
What you hate – what you love
Who you are?”
I don’t know.
“How can you be driven then?”
A friend once casually asked me.
I don’t know, thinking silently.
Why do I spend my time with books
When I could put my hands up in the air
Hand up in the air!
Or YOLO for all I care?
Why do I go to tutoring for extra lessons
When it’s costly and takes my life away.
Tick-tock, one hour a day
Seven hours a week
Twenty-eight hours a month
Seven hundred and twenty-eight hours a year
Tock-tick, tock-tick, tock-tick…
I don’t know
People don’t accept my answer;
They attribute my achievements to the slant of my eyes.
“Asian Persuasion!” They say.
As if the way I see could logically explain my deeds or define me as an individual.
I reply: “Asian Domination!!!”
I don’t mind.
Because I embrace the light golden shade
Of which I bear in my soul.
So what if I don’t know
I’m only sixteen for Christ’s sake!
Every time I hear people my age
Speaking of grandiose ambitions:
“Ending hunger, saving the poor, making a change, curing cancer…,
and establishing World Peace.”
I admire them and sit in awe, but wonder –
How many of them will actually make it?
I don’t know.
I really don’t know.
But I do know:
Life is a beach – the kind that’s
Fickle but Soothing,
Drowning but Sunny,
Unforgiving, but Purposeful.
And I, filled with the desire to KNOW, will walk,
No, to jog.
No – to run in this beach with the wind in my hair.
Even if I don’t know where I’m going,