I will never understand what makes me a second class human being

What makes my heart so breakable, so fragile in nature

I will never understand why the hammers choose me

Choose to destroy everything I have left

To leave me with pieces to put together

I will never understand why I am so emotional

So annoying and withdrawn

I will never be the man I wish to be

I will never be loved by the man I want to love

I will never learn to be ok with mediocrity

But little by little I will learn to breathe

Again

I wonder how many times I can be struck in the same place before it draws blood

Before the damage is too much

Before I am too far gone

And I hate that this is who I am now