I Can't Keep Doing This

I can't keep doing this.

 

My mind is blurry.

My thoughts drift, from

Will there be chocolate chip muffins?

to

How soon can I get back to my book?

to

Maybe I can take a nap during math today.

I do not want to think.

I just want to be.

To let my mind wake up and start processing information.

I don't have that luxury.

 

I can't keep doing this.

 

Five days a week, I drag myself

from a cocoon of warmth and blankets

to several hours of uncomfortable seats

and forcing my tired brain to keep

the knowledge being shoved at me.

I sit, listening to teachers who move too quickly through their lessons

and don't seem to understand

that I don't care as much about their subject as they do.

 

I can't keep doing this.

 

Between a day of schoolwork,

an evening of homework,

and an afternoon full of

uninteresting

un-engaging

extracurricular activities because society says I need them

Where am I supposed to find time for me?

From where am I supposed to steal time

to give myself a break.

To recover from the stress of people and living

and still have time

to sleep.

 

I can't keep doing this!

 

I will not be a mathematician or scientist

no matter how hard you shove those subjects down my throat!

I do not need geometry to stand on stage

and slip into the skin of a character in a play.

I do not need physics to study a speech from the Bard

and say it in a way to convey it's meaning

to people who no longer use these words.

To forcibly teach me what I do not need

hinders me in learning what I do.

I do not need to study and learn everything so

Stop

Trying

To

Make

Me.

 

I can't keep doing this.

 

My thoughts are not others thoughts.

My interests are my own.

I know my path in life and I know how to follow it.

You treat all students the same,

expect one teaching method to work for everyone.

And when it doesn't;

and when a student needs more than ten minutes help;

you tell them to figure out what they are doing wrong

and to fix it.

 

It is not the students fault if they cannot learn

an entire lesson in forty-five minutes

or not at all.

It simply means the method of teaching must change.

From the very beginning

to the very end

something needs to change.

And it isn't the students.

 

I can't keep doing this.

 

So I won't.  

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