I am not strong.
When everything in life goes wrong,
When everything in life crashes down,
And shrink with shame,
As I attempt to control my emotions with pain.
Yet, as the razor slices
And yet, as the tears stream,
My screams are not silenced,
My pain is not gone.
As the ruby red blood stains my skin,
I realize how weak I am within.
My scars remind of a mind disturbed,
Of a mind perturbed.
With a heavy heart and a heavier hand,
I brand myself.
Forever marred by the monsters I hide,
Monsters which claw and kill all happiness inside.
And as the warm blood flows,
Along with it goes upsetting feelings I choose not to expose.
And though the temptation to cry for help is strong,
The combination of guilt and pride overrides my trys.
While the truth is, behind every smile, I am dying inside.
I am lost and broken,
But no words are spoken.
Deep down I desire to be free
From my infinite insecurities.
The stress, the loneliness, the misery
Are demons it seems I can not flee.
And even when my blood is spilled
The darkness does not quit.
My shoulders are buckling from the weight.
At any rate, in my fragile state, I will break.
I ache to shriek, "Someone save me from myself!"
But my lips will not move, I will not speak.
And so, in agony I will suffer,
Because I am weak.