I AM DEVIL

How the hell are you so blind?

Yes I'm the Devil in disguise

Ask the God you love so much

If I am worth his saving touch

Ask the spirits that I see

If they will ever, ever leave

Ask the boy I used to love

If when I die I'll rise above

 

How could you assume that I

Would be so loved after I die?

Don't talk bad about myself?

Don't take my heart from off its shelf!

I've been denied my own damn story

I mined my heart from some lost quarry

Written in stone, my life on a wire

I'm over this love, I'm so damn tired

 

I don't wanna be "Little Miss Sweet"

Be kind and forgiving, so tidy and neat

Quiet and graceful, a little light Lotus

Being kind got me nothing, revenge gets me noticed

I'm over wasting my time

I'm over standing in line

I worried too much about another

And now I'll never be a mother

 

I was ready to change my plans

For once there was no blood on my hands

Now I'm soaked in bright red lifeforce

I just want to scream until I grow hoarse

You all said I lived too passive

Now you complain when I'm aggressive?

You want to shut your goddamn mouth

Long enough for me to get this out?

 

No I wouldn't say this to your face

Nothing but a subordinate, not my place

You say you want to help me

Then why am I silenced when I speak?

See if I don’t crack a joke or two

Then I will crack and never make it through

Of course I'm sick inside my head

I don't care if I should wind up dead

 

I want nothing more than to just give up

For four straight weeks I've filled my cup

At least I'm not lighting cigarettes

But it isn't much further away, I guess

I know the promises I've tried to make

But I'm choking on the Communion I tried to take

Drown me in Holy Water, Drown me in flames

Though I work alone you'll still ask me for the names

 

I can see the straight-jacket, all custom sewn

You've prepared for me, now I'm on my own

To you I'll always be another loon

If I never see you again it'll be too soon

I could be what you don’t think I am, yeah, I think so

And watch you squirming to find yourselves a true hero

But Clark Kent ran scared into that telephone booth

You wouldn't even listen if I screamed the truth

 

You can't love me because you don't understand?

How do you think I felt when you let go of my hand?

I felt a love for you that I would cherish and foster

But had to leave it all behind because you think I'm a monster

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community

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