I Am

Dear Alexander,

 

I hope there is never a day you understand what I mean by my want to pick apart, destroy, and ruin just as I had felt you had done to me.

My frivolities, my speech; Have I always been considered a false prophet by you?

I know you won’t understand. I write to you to remind you of the following:

 

I am a paradox, an anachronism, a blip of time that has been formed from my experiences,

I’ll be a scrapbook, patchwork, quilted enigma comprised of all the times

I felt Life lent a hand to feed, my gnashing teeth, and Life’s missing hand

My favorite chew toy - that hand that fed me well.

You kept me at bay from biting back for some time now

I have burnt my muzzle long ago in sulfurous flames that my emotion continuously fueled

I have filed my fangs and my heart-hearth is ablaze

a Lioness am I.

These ancient fires are not those that have kept the unfortunate warm

No, these archaic pyres have burnt innocent souls at the stake

They were once kept alive in dishes of gold as a human heart was sacrificed to wrathful gods

These starved flames have ripped through forests, towns, and cities alike,

uncaring of which home it charred

The raw element has no regards for what is right and what is wrong,

the good and the bad

the feminine and the masculine

the young and the old

It does not discriminate.

I will allow my soul to combust

allow my flesh to char

my tongue to curl

shrivel

and become ash.

I will do this so that I may be reborn as a sacrilegious creature

blind to relative justice

wielding an unmitigated strength that will allow me to overcome human conundrums

My wings will carry me to the greatest heights

having no mortal Icarus complex

For I am the Sun.

As quickly as I will burn as the brightest

life-giving star

I will be snuffed.

My conflagration will be reduced to embers as the dying smoke

will exit my lungs and into the air

I will blot out the sky

and lay out my finest tapestry crafted of

diamond stars and gem-carved planets

My golden wings have donned a scorched brown

and I am now the Sage of the Night

For now I am the Moon.

My trickling luminosity will

guide strangers on their secretive travels

my cool illumination shall chill the spite my old self knew

I have completed the cycle of

Yin and Yang in their most crude forms.

I am the Balance lacking Lady Justice

for my Justice is sought through Earth and her Ethereal counterpart

I am infinite.

I am vast.

I am.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741