I Am

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I Am I am confused and naïve, not a diamond, but a pearl in the rough. I’m a pearl as white as it can be, but I do not shine for just everyone to see. (My Vietnamese name, Ngoc, means “hidden pearl.”) I wonder when it will be my turn. When do I roll up the sleeves and unleash my tricks upon this unsuspecting world? I hear my heart beating hard, fast and loud as I slowly, but surely lose my breath. It’s screaming for a chance to release the raging inferno of blood and passion that is me. I want to change what it means to be human, what it means to be different and unexpected. I am waiting for the perfect opportunity. I pretend that I’m alright. Just like you. I’ll play your game. And I will beat you at your own game if you dare challenge me. I feel like dangling my toes off the edge of a mile high cliff leading down to something massive, something beautiful, something that was never meant to be looked down on. I touch the bare tip of infinity only to realize that there is so much more to learn. I worry that I’ll never learn as much as I wish I could, but I believe this is all I really need to know to save the world. I can’t cry anymore, I refuse to hurt any longer. I am defiant, I refuse to fall in line, I refuse to subject myself, I refuse to submit. I understand the fact that I never will fully understand anything. Not even myself. I say things, but I doubt you can fully interpret the message I attempt to convey. I dream of the impossible. I try to level the boundaries of what is possible and impossible. I hope that I’m not alone in my quest to tear down these walls. I also hope you know what I mean when I tell you: I am broken, but I am not going to stop working. I am a hero, proud to be unsung. I am a lost cause who never did want to be found and classified. I am Darryl, lion of God (etymology) . Uncontrollable. Untamable.

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