I’m One More Survivor in the 1 Billion Rising

I’m going to be a survivor in the 1 Billion Rising

Got to escape and run away free

For another day can’t be about you but, me

Another strike, another blow

Beaten so much my life seems so cold

What’s my heart and souls worth I ask

You keep making me feel as if I’m nothing but dirt in your task

The pain and fear goes way too deep, I wish I could die here in my sleep

I’m a collection of your evil knifes on a shelf

Tears in my eyes swell up

Silence is a hurtful pain to hold

Been told to just close my words within my mouth and shut up

No one needs to know what has happened to me I’ve been told

I often find myself shivering in disbelief out in the cold

I wish I could just die and stop living in fear

I fill my nose wrinkling up as my eyes being to tear

My heart aches and I feel it fighting for another beat

Just way too close to my heart I continue to be told I am nothing

Scars leave me breathless in pain that doesn’t go away

How can I possibly continue on as being told I am not a person but a something

My mind is scarred with visions of the painful agony you put me through

Life often seems so lonely, so terribly dark

Hiding within my heart is a cut from your evil knifes so deep that I can’t see

You’ve beaten me so badly; you’ve left your mark

My body aches as another blow to the head explodes

Bruises come and go these scars last a lifetime

Pretending nothing is wrong or that I did it to myself I feel like a mime

I’ve often had to tell stories to exclude seeing eyes of others upon me

My heart aches in pain and nothing could possibly ever be the same

One too many dark and lonely days

Turn into nights of harboring pain

I often have to pretend in order to simply explain and make it another day

I cry these many blackened tears

From the eyes of my soul I’m living in fear

I’m often told by you that I’m horrible and that no one else will have nor want me

I’m ugly, stupid, selfish, and worthless you’ve told me that I’m the one to blame

How can you destroy me with bruises shinning purple and blue

For I breathe in the danger that has wiped my soul of living where there’s shame

I believe that I am nothing for you have told me so

I’m unsure if I am able to find the strength to let go

Planning and hiding from you isn’t the life I dreamt

For you’ve taken my life and tossed it on the ground

I’m often turning in more directions then I can handle in circles so round

My heart won’t stop hurting with depths of pain I keep hiding

The nights often turn into days with horrible sounds

I can’t sleep or take a moment’s step towards freedom it’s binding

For you’ve taken my life and tossed it on the ground

Been told to just close my words within my mouth and shut up

No one needs to know what has happened to me I’ve been told

I find myself always shivering in disbelief

Silence is a hurtful pain to hold

Will I ever see tomorrow with relief

You’ve taken my dignity and threw it all away

Dug into the dirt and lost what seems like forever

I’m unsure that my heart and soul will never be found

The pain of a fist and a punching bag

Leaves me feeling so alone and sad

I can fill the tears in my eyes as the swell up with fear

I fill my nose wrinkling up as my eyes being to tear

My gut hurts and is sour from the fear that you have put into me

I wish at times I was dead for no one to look upon my body with bruises to see

Another strike, another blow what’s my heart and souls worth

You keeping making me feel as if I’m nothing but dirt

I’m often told by you how horrible I am

I’m ugly, stupid, selfish, and worthless I’m told that I’m the one to blame

The fear and terrier in my soul is nothing but a terrible feeling of shame

I hate you for hurting me; I hate myself for being so afraid of walking away

I have done all that I could to ask for a way out, I’d often pray

I can fill the tears in my eyes as they swell up

I fill my nose wrinkling up as my eyes being to tear

At times think I’m always living in fear

No one needs to know what has happened to me I’ve been told

Silence is a hurtful pain to hold

I believe that I am nothing for you have told me so

I’m unsure if I am able to find the strength to let go

Planning and hiding from you isn’t the life I dreamt

Another strike, another blow what’s my heart and souls worth

You keeping making me feel as if I’m nothing but dirt

Pretending that I’m alright

You’ve kept beating me as your punching bag

This isn’t what I planned for my life in sight

My life with you has been nothing but a drag

Let me go and I won’t say a word

I just want to leave without your hurting hands covering me

My visions been destroyed and blurred

Let me go, so I can once again see

Silence is a hurtful pain to hold

I cry in so much agony and pain with these many tears

From the eyes of my soul I’m living in fear

Let me go, so I can once again see

My visions been destroyed and blurred

I can’t live in silence any longer you’ve taken my life but, I am stronger

To finally leave you and your damaging words, fists, and hands

I’m going to finally be within peace, free, and shining

For I am One More Survivor in the 1 Billion Rising

I’m going to finally be within peace, free, and shining

For I am One More Survivor in the 1 Billion Rising

Written and Copyrights By: Deanna M Culver
February 15, 2013