I hide myself in the movies; the clips

Once I retreat from serenity

I jump into the joys of notes across a bar line

Once the tempo and its tranquility strikes 

I resort to old ways

Soothing and fluent

Thoughts flow from topic to wisdom 

Then the cavern in my stomach overturns

My throat feels heavy

I can barely breath

I try to run through it

But the tears stay lodged in my throat

Taking its time to reveal themselves

But they never appear

Just the linger of depression subsides

But it stays masked by writing

I cant even a shed a tear anymore 

How much I've changed...