The Hospital Visit

I don't quite remember the whole visit;

 was it even all real?

 I was too high on narcotics, too tired from lack of sleep, and in too much pain to care.

 I remember walking in: The Body Oh, the body I didn't see the face I didn't see the color All I saw was The Body Already, I was paranoid:

Was I in another dimension?

Was that my body?

 I remember sitting down- stares- The lady is confused, and my mother tried to help her out I use the bathroom- good lord not THAT stall A body could have been there Dead, twitching, crooked, gray Someone's grandmother, aunt, Someone with or without a home

 A Body

 I use the other, and return outside Someone is crying Oh my god - why? Did they see A Body? Who was it? What could it have been? Could I be next? I am called, but -sorry, mother- you are not allowed in Oh, its the nurse from the time I was Rescued { I Remember You- You Almost Died That Night!- Yeah, Those Kids Down The Road Before You; All Gone} Three Bodies The nurse working on me is too quick, I am too medicated I dare not tell him to slow down Another nurse smiles at me At last, some showing of grace I walk back, walk alone It is cold I am alone in the small room There are nurses The one witch- black brows, thinly drawn on; the one who eventually smiles at me, but constantly wears an expression as if to say

                "thank god i'm not her"-

The kids coming in and out yelling to their mommies What's wrong with her? The only child Who sees me in the hall

The hall of the sick           The mentally unstable

The soon-to-be-deceased Who embraces me And kindly asks If I am a Princess In the middle of her curse I lie down and look to the right of me Its her The one I feared from the moment I stepped in She is in a room Lightly hooked up She is gray There is, quite frankly, no hope for her She is dying I look up to the ceiling The dirty, dingy man in front of me complains Its too loud for him He is dehydrated Annoyed I quite agree. A girl and her- who is he; who knows. Temporary boyfriend?- Wait for some tests I look to the right She is gone The nurses shut the door But really, what's the use The door clicks The nurses move quickly There is no hiding it She's dead Is it for respect? Or to strain from stirring people like me into a panic so they don't have to do all the work of dealing with me?

After all, They Pay For The Dead I stop looking Back to the ceiling Everything hurts But I try to sink into myself I look again There she is When did she take her last breath When did she think her last thoughts When did she decide That it was time to go Finally, as if in a sad and pathetic pre-precession They wheel her in; to wheel her out A white sheet, a black holey veil

 

A Body

 I vaguely remember going back The technician spoke French I remember being hurt turning this way and that Everything hurt I come back I count the bodies Her room has now been occupied I remember no conversation with the doctor My mother comes back She's pissed, as usual Screw the nurse; screw the doctor I return back to the car I am just another body.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741