Oh Holy Ghost this ehco toasts to love that's long been gone.

 

I started praying because of you.

Like the Holy Ghost you were

always there, always wanted

never there, never wanted

My first love.

You followed be with your back turned.

For two years I heard your voice from the walls,

now, it's a dagger,

reminder.

You're whipering in the corner

room of twenty

you're still tempting

my ears,

you're all

I hear.

 

I started praying because of you. 

To a God I didn't believe in,

to a God who could bring miracles.

I didn't know I wanted a miracle,

I only wanted you. 

The boy who made me feel like a girl on the inside too.

But God didn't grant me femininity,

only a mask of pink pixel love for you

and denial

in the countless nights spent whipering in eachother's ears through headsets

and embracing under digital rain.

I'd picture your hair

that made me dance upon it's waves

and grip my controller

like your hand.

I'd mute the noise of bullets blasting

just to hear you breathe.

 

You said, you liked me too.

But first loves never know what to do

and our end was painfully silent.

 

Forgive me for this mess of empty years surrounding us

for even once me want was gone oh Holy Ghost

your haunt went on.

My idea of you a praisite,

infect my heart and change I might.

But you followed me for two whole years,

your face still turned away,

until you used up all my tears

and left me

just the goddamn same.