Everywhere I go, it is with me;

In my pocket, my jacket, my purse.

The first day I wore it around my wrist,

But every step, every shift,

Brought the noise reminding me of you.

 

I come home from school,

The house empty...dead.

Tick...tick...tick...

And I work on my homework diligently

Trying to ignore the screaming silence.

 

Sometimes I’ll glance around,

Your name half formed on my lips.

But--you’re not there.

So I bite my tongue, convincing myself

This is the reason for my unshed tears.

 

December 28, 2017--I loathe it.

It is seared into my brain, its claws latching on

Never letting go.

And all the memories of that day

Start up like a movie projector:

 

Mom: petting your head,

telling you what a good boy you always were.

Dad: joking how he would miss his “Poptart Buddy.”

Sister: twining her fingers in your fur,

Tears dripping down her face.

 

And when the needle had been pricked

When your heart stopped

And the light and in your eyes faded

I let out a heartbroken sob

That still rings in my ears.

 

There isn’t a day that I don’t miss you,

My loyal, fluffy Hershey-dog.

But maybe one day, I can think

Of all the good times we had

without it being so painful.

 

And so, I take the last part

Of you I have left

And carry it with me;

In my pocket, my jacket, my purse:

Your collar.