I prayed to God for some guidance

But he never got back to me.

I asked Satan for some help

But I couldn't afford his fee.


I visited a synagogue, as well as a mosque

I tried to call up the Pope.

It seemed that no God was available to talk

All they could offer me was hope.


I drove all the way to the Buddhist Temple

But no one would say a thing.

I scoured the internet for information

And when Google didn't work I even tried Bing.


I thought I'd try my local officials.

I walked into the Mayor's office

But the bureaucracy scared me away.

The paperwork for this was tremendous.


I called up the president

Of the US of A

But his secretary said

He was busy until next May.


I couldn't think of whom else to ask.

It seemed that I was on my own.

I had no lifelines left

No friends to phone.


7 billion people on the Earth

7 billion souls.

6,999,999,999 who were all too busy.

I was, and always will be under my own control.


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