He would go that far

He would go that far to hurt me.
He tore into my soul.
He tore into my heart.
There is a huge hole in my chest where HE used to be.
There is a huge hole in my heart and blood gushes out.
I can’t stop it.
I feel as though someone has died.
Tears are streaming down my face.
I feel like Niagara Falls.
I walk to get further and further away from HIM.
I stumble, but I can’t stop.
I can’t walk anymore and I fall like a limp doll.
I can’t move and I’m broken now.
Am I dead to you now?
I feel as though I am nothing.
Am I nothing to you now?
Why?
Why was I so open to you?
Why did I let you in so easily and quickly?
Ah, that’s right!
It was love at first sight.
I’m a crying mess on the sidewalk.
I’m begging you to come back as you walk away.
Turn around for me and come back and
say you love me because I know you do.
You can’t stand my horrible crying and
I know it would draw you back.
You’re back!
I feel elated again as you hold my hands.
I feel so happy that I cry.
You say, “I knew you loved me from the first day.”
I’m happy and the pain has stopped.
You kiss me, and I have butterflies.
I say, “Let’s go to my house and we’ll get big macs on the way.”
You and I laugh and hold hands into the sunset.

Comments

samueltfranklin

Your pacing is good throughout the poem, and it is interesting in that is has a plot of sorts--it climaxes with him returning to the narrator, and provides a classical resolution of the two lovers riding off into the sunset. However, there is a strong undercurrent of bitterness which is not wholly resolved. You title this poem "He Would Go That Far": what does this say about this person, that he would go that far to hurt the narrator? Even though the narrator and her significant other do get back together, it is only after he has reduced her to pieces: "I can't move and I'm broken now." This is a strong poem, but it would be stronger by ending the poem with a trace of that bitterness--even though they are back together, there is still obviously something painful in that union.

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