He wonders
Location
He sits under the stars late at night
Up against a brick wall
Breathing slowly
Waiting for the feeling of the liquor from the bottle to hit his lips and travel to his brain
Till he no longer feels cold
the only thing he feels is shame.
He looks up at the little white specks that can only been seen at night
Wonders why he never puts up a fight
A battle against addictive pleasure and sorrow
He tries to pull himself back up
But realize there is no use because the strength of the 90 proof pulls him down
Set steady to the ground
With his vision blurred
He stays where he sits, only to wonder
Why he couldn’t stop the liquor from taking everything he’s got
He wants to cry out
But just can’t
There’s nothing left for him to shed
Because no matter what he does, he will always feel dead
Until the thought of her sunshine hair
Making his world seem a little less unfair.
He wonders what she dreams at night
And whether or not she dreams of him
The days when he took her to the forest
And watched her play
The talks of fairies, bears, goblins, and butterflies,
Explore her mind
The most beauty he has ever seen
He takes out the only thing he keeps with him at all times
A photo with eyes so green .
He smiles and feels at peace
And whispers
“Dear God, keep my daughter safe
because right now my world had been misplaced
I don’t want her to see me lacking my fatherly strength.
I ask you to send a message to her of love and faith
I pray”.
He closes his eyes to find his stable mind
He no longer is drunk off sorrow
but drunk off his daughters imagination Intelligently innocent
He begins to stand
Pulling himself from the mud
He feels hope flowing through his blood