You ever wanted something so bad you would dig until your fingers bled?

Finger nails bent and ripped, but it still just isn't good enough.

I have.

The worst part?

I had exactly what I was looking for all along right in the palms of my hands.

What is it?

Affection.

Hard core, unconditional, limitless affection.

I thought I found it, and it consumed me. 

And I allowed it to.

Only to find out it was simply a facade.

And I do not have the words to articulate how emotionally distraught I am at this moment.

Not because my lover boy lied to me,

But because I had overlooked the man who had loved me before I was even born.

He has thrown me in an abyss called love.

But I guess it wasn't good enough for me.

Now, after having something so precious taken from me and to see him on the other side, patiently waiting for my return, I cannot help  but say that there are no words to describe what this man means to me.

And my heart is shredded to pieces to know that I have taken him for grranted.

Nevertheless, his love for me never fails.

He is everything I ever want in a man.

And I will know when my king has arrived because he will be just like him.

Who is this man? 

I call him the love of my life.

I call him my everything.

I call him my bestfriend.

Better yet, I simply call him daddy.

God, I thank You for giving him to me.