I came all this way to ask you to watch me leave through the backdoor
Of a house I call child’s play.
To hold my hand as I cross the line I call my childhood
And abandon this child like mind behind
Along with a trade for an even less childlike body.
But don’t hold it as firmly as you did on my first day of school
Even though I’m just as scared as I was then.
I need you to gently hold my fingertips.
For I still love you
But my voice speaks tones empowered by God
Which are reminiscent of my father, his father, and his father.
For I still look up to you
But you chose to bear children with a tree of a man which is where I get my height from
So I look clear over you.
For I tell you every day how you’re a present to my life that’s irreplaceable.
I’m at the age where sooner than later another will have to take your presence.
Only the very tips mommy
Because you carried me in life the way God carried the man through the sand
Until you put me down and held a tight grasp on my hand.
That loosened with every tear you shed for me becoming a man.
It was your bittersweet reward that I followed your plan.
But soon ago when my best friend almost died
And I laid down into your chest and cried for three days
And you were well aware that for 72 hours I reverted back to my childish ways
Where in my childish days
I would abuse your love
Because I knew mommy’s love can naturally take away pain
But make sure you let go finger by finger
So in the end you truly can
Say you turned a fetus to a man
And carried him until he can
Make his own footprints in the sand.