Hail To The King

 

Hail to the king of the gridiron diamond

With trapezius muscles the size of an island,

Biceps and triceps that can bench press 350

and a skull just as barren as the underwater city.

 

Hail to the queen of #nofilter,

Duck-facing in the mirror with her head a tad off-kilter.

Posting “I woke up like this! Lol winky face emoticon”

But can’t even tell you what day Christmas is on.

 

Hail to the king of snapbacks and swag,

Skinny jeans past his ass, which is somehow still a fad.

He can count all the Benjamins in his wallet, no doubt,

But he can’t count past 20, what the hell is that all about?!

 

We all worship these lords of mediocre,

But the day will come (hopefully soon) when their reign will be over.

And when that day comes, where will you be

When your unholy rulers will too be on their knees?