I look in the mirror and what I see is a part of you in me.
I look at life and all I see is a world full of tragedy.
My mama ain’t here and I just hope she’s proud of me.
A thought of what could be is constantly haunting me.
Cancer ain’t no joke and I learnt that at 9 years old.
When a doctor tells you your life is coming to an end.
How do you cope and tell yours kids?
Mama thought she was protecting me by trying to keep it hid.
But her last days was spent in a hospital bed.
Mama she was talking out of her head.
Heard she hollered for me, but my dad wanted let me go and see.
And to this day I hold onto anger for the man.
I just wanted to hold her hand.
I wanted to tell my mama how I wish she didn’t have to go.
How I wish I held onto hope.
I needed to hear my mamas voice, but I wasn’t even given the choice.
I find myself lost with thoughts running through my head.
Everyone I ever loved somehow ends up dead.
I didn’t get to grow up with my mom holding my hand.
I didn’t get to have her as my number one best friend.
Mama I hope you’re dancing with the angels, but please don’t forget about your angels.The kids you had to leave, and mama please don’t forget about me.
I need you to be my guardian and be waiting for me when my life comes to an end.
You’ll always be remember your memory never goes dead. Not even for a second. It’s constantly in my head.
Sometimes it leaves me breathless.
When I start to pick myself back up it makes me feel helpless.
Sometimes I think I should leave myself on the ground.
After all every night I seem to fall back down.
I know you didn’t mean to cause this pain for me.
And I know you would want me to be happy, but happiness just isn’t meant for me. So I’m gonna keep crying until you’re back here with me.
Once you’re back I’ll never let you leave.
I know wishes won’t come true, But I wish I had you to protect me from what all I had to go through.
To my guardian angel I hope I’m making you proud.
Save a seat for me next to you on the softest cloud.