You held me in your arms and told me
It would be okay. It’s not.
Its been a year since I saw you last.
I always know how long it’s been.
A year seems like an eternity
And an instant all at once.
I can still feel your hand on mine,
Your laugh rings in my ears.
Your voice calls for me but I know
It’s not you. It will never be you.
I didn’t tell you how afraid I was.
Death had you in his grasp long before he took you.
You were withered but you smiled.
Now I am withered, but I smile.
Everyone says the dead look like they’re sleeping,
I didn’t cry at your funeral.
I made small talk with people you didn’t even like.
I had a panic attack at dinner,
When I realized you weren’t there.
The scarf you made me is falling apart.
I broke the earring you loved.
They are tethers to you,
Snapping one by one.
I fear forgetting.
Every day there is something less.
Memories slip like water through a sieve.
That’s all that is really left of you.
I just want to curl up in your arms
And hear that it will be okay.
But you’re gone.
And that will never be okay.