You held me in your arms and told me

It would be okay. It’s not.

Its been a year since I saw you last.

I always know how long it’s been.

A year seems like an eternity

And an instant all at once.

I can still feel your hand on mine,

Your laugh rings in my ears.

Your voice calls for me but I know

It’s not you. It will never be you.

I didn’t tell you how afraid I was.

Death had you in his grasp long before he took you.

You were withered but you smiled.

Now I am withered, but I smile.

Everyone says the dead look like they’re sleeping,

You didn’t.

I didn’t cry at your funeral.

I made small talk with people you didn’t even like.

I had a panic attack at dinner,

When I realized you weren’t there.

The scarf you made me is falling apart.

I broke the earring you loved.

They are tethers to you,

Snapping one by one.

I fear forgetting.

Every day there is something less.

Memories slip like water through a sieve.

That’s all that is really left of you.

I just want to curl up in your arms

And hear that it will be okay.

But you’re gone.

And that will never be okay.