Greatness

I long to be great.
My mother believes I can be great.
My grandmother knows I will be great.
My father is proud that I am great.
 
"Be not afraid of greatness:
Some are born great, 
Some achieve greatness
And some have greatness thrust upon them."
 
What is greatness?
Excellence
Achievement
Worth
Value
Me?
 
Greatness is having done marvelous things.
Greatness is rising above the ordinary to become extraordinary.
Greatness is strength under suffering.
Greatness is magnificence.
 
Where can I find this greatness?
Others see it in my writing,
But all I see are little black words on white paper.
Insignificant words with tiny meanings,
At that.
 
Greatness is found in history and heroes,
In mythology and stories,
In others' words and others' deeds.
 
My vocabulary is lacking,
My prose sometimes stilted,
My alliteration and rhyme often accidental.
How can a little noone from nowhere be great?
 
The great bard tells me not to fear greatness, but he himself has already achieved it,
Claimed it forever.
Throughout the world, in every language,
He is upheld as the mark of greatness for our language.
What does he have to fear?
Even death, that great mystery none can escape, has already claimed him
And yet it cannot claim his greatness.
 
Me?
Great?
I don't think it can ever be so.
The statistical probability is too close to nothing
For any kind of optimism to take root here.
I do not fear greatness, but
I fear myself incapable of finding it.
 
I was not born great,
I don't think I can achieve greatness,
And I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for improbable events to thrust unseen greatness upon me.
 
This reality would not be so bad if it were just me...
But
My mother believes I can be great.
My grandmother knows I will be great.
My father is proud that I am great.
I am not great,
Will not ever be great, I think,
And so
My mother cannot believe in me,
My grandmother cannot know me,
My father cannot be proud of me.
 
I do not fear greatness, but
I fear myself incapable of finding it.

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