Tears fall to the floor

Can't fight this feeling anymore

Of loss and regret

Can't take one more step

Because I won't come back

The feelings will be intact

And I see

That I'll be

Just like every other member

Crying at night because they can't remember

It's not in their mind

It no longer renders

The way he used to be.

So I hold his cross

All I have left of him now

And I pray dear God

Release this sadness somehow

But I know in the morning

My face will be swollen

And my mascara will be

All over these sheets

But I can't fight this longing

My heart has a need

To jump up in his lap

And watch his T.V.

And hold his hand

And hear him say he loves me.

To reminisce

No experience

The way he used to be

Before the cancer got to him

And made my grandpa so weak.

When he could sit at a table

And eat a whole feast.

Too bad he never got to taste

What was made by me.

But he's probably eating now

Where he's in peace.

That's what I keep telling myself

He's in a better place

But that doesn't stop the tears

From running down my face.

I know it was hard for him

To live the way he did

But the selfish part

Of my heart

Just wants a few more moments.