A goodbye letter to the man who has already said goodbye

Matt,
I wrote you a letter. I never said it was for you but the letters and the words and the lines were all for you. The worlds and the cuts and the costumes and the smiles, they were all for you. Every breath, every notion, every voice, every poem, everyday was for you. I was for you and I was failing. You deserved more than I could ever offer you here and so I wrote you a letter. A letter to tell you where I was going and when I'd be back,nowhere and never. A letter to tell you I loved you and I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you. I wrote you a letter to tell you that you were my world. But you were so much more than that. You are galaxies and universes and time and space and everything that has ever been. I was pain and I was hate and I was the darkest corner of the lightest person, you. And so I wrote you this letter. Because it took up less of your light than I did. And in time it would disappear as I did. Leaving nothing behind but a letter to tell you my truth. My selfish truth. Which is that I loved you. I loved you more than some goddamned letter could ever tell you. And I hate that this is all that will remain of my words because they were the only part of me worth a damn. But you can read a letter over and over again and I hope you do so because I never want you to forget that you are the sun, the moon, the earth, and the stars. You are the ground and the sea and the sky all rolled up into the most beautiful being that will ever be. You are a body of light. And I'm sorry for myself. I'm sorry for this God damn letter. I'm sorry that I dared to exist in your presence because you deserve so much better. Forget me. Forget my words. Forget my darkness. Forget my letter. Let me fade into the back of some feebled existence at the edge of a cliff. Because you are the only thing in this life worth protecting. And that means I have to leave. And so I'll leave you this letter. Some old signatures and a death sentence. You really are beautiful. And though you will forget me, and you will forget me, never forget what you mean to the world. You are a God in yourself. So never cease to be the God of yourself.

Yours forever
Sie

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