That girl
Location
We always run into each other, close to one another
Wanting to know her name my mind says "don't even bother"
Each time it happens, we exchange glares
We hand out 1 or even 2 second stares
I raise my eyebrows with my eyelids almost closed
Aching red eyes, I feel a desert down my throat
Walking around blowed, swerving around as I go
Trying to look casual as I look for that one girl
Her mystery is exciting, her mystery is inviting
Her mystery is providing me confidence out my hiding
Her eyeliner and eyeshadow, tell a couple things
They both are telling me that's a girl I'll have trouble with
But the make up alone, isn't what tells it
It's the application and the way that she wears it
She has a look that says "I'll break what's behind your chest
I'll tear your heart from it's place and simply leave you depressed
Do you like the rest but the topic I won't extend
Then leave it all to the next and let her have what is left"
Her body turns my head every time she walks past me
Her jeans defining her lower body painting the picture exactly
Altering my blood pressure, making me breath harder
I tuck my lips inside my mouth and run my hand along my collar
Wondering what it would be like to spread her across my sheets
My lips in between her legs she feeds me and i just eat
Her body and face draw the images in my head
How I'll be having her sweat as I make happiness on my bed
Heading towards class, laughing loud with my friends
See her coming my way, staring at me again
Wishing I was a psychic so that I could read her thoughts
"Does she want my name as well or does she have no interest at all?"
In the end it doesn't matter, time is overdue
She'll just always be that girl, who's name I never knew.
Comments
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lizardoa21
heh every guy has had that one girl that they noticed and knew that if they went after her things would go horribly wrong so they never do. But sometimes that leads to regret cause who knows you couldve been that one guy ya know? Don't live with regrets and know worst case scenario broken hearts heal coming from a guy who has fought tooth and nail with love. As for the actual poem you have a good rhythm quite impressive can't wait to see more from you.
RebeccaYSPerez
This poem was a bit raunchier than more normal taste in poetry- but I always try to keep an open mind. But in the end I actually really loved your poem; especially the last line, "She'll always be that girl, who's name I never knew." I liked your scheme and at times it was very romantic, ("does she want my name too...") And other times it was the classic crush poem; where you see her with your friends as you're walking down the hall. I really loved your poem!
Thank you for sending it in!
Becca.
jmedwards8
Hi inthemorningoftheday,
Thank you for sharing this piece! It was definitely a powerful read. You did a great job of honing the tone and mood of the piece, and I really wished I could've heard it read aloud (maybe post a recording of it?) so I could've gotten the full effect of your rich sound.
As you think about revision, I want to pose a question to you: is the speaker really justified in assuming this about "that girl" just based on her exterior? Does someone who makes these assumptions based on an apparent attitude really any better than "that girl" is? What if she is thinking about the speaker the same thing--or something similar--the speaker is thinking about her? I challenge you to probe a little deeper than the surface. You're spot on with what's here, but I'd like to see maybe a series of "that girl" poems in which the speaker discovers something new about him/herself and also perhaps about "that girl."
Thanks again for your work, and happy writing!
j