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The question is what hasn't tried to kill me? School, friends, relationships Even This body tried to kill me, yet I still wake up every morning few things take pleasure in my breathing  28 pills tried to poison my liver ...but it wasn't just them they had a partner in crime  So I must admit These hands are guilty of attempted suicide  There is some part of me rooting for my own destruction I don't know, I feel like there's a red dot on my forehead   there's a mirror, shes there holding a rifle She does not break eye contact I don't know what I did to piss her off or when I started to piss her off but she's angry at me I don't feel like she's winning anymore but then again she's not losing  I think we are at a standstill  So I walk around with this red dot on my forehead  And this girl in the mirror  She has her fingers dancing around the trigger  Waiting for anything so she can tip me over this edge I've been standing on For three years I've been standing here I sit down and assume fetal position, when things get too hard I let my legs dangle over the abyss I let my mind wander to its coldness And even though what brought this on was just a slight Inconvenience The girl says do it, or if you want just break down into pieces, and I'll do it for you I have much better aim than before I wont miss this Time. I promise. So we sit face to face pills in hand, knife in hand, blade in hand whatever and we wait She can only do so much sure I can't move body but she can and she covers my mouth with her pill filled hands Holds knife to my chest Blade to wrist She's say this is as far as I go I can't take you you have to make the final decision, do it, one easy quick fluid movement I close my eyes I somehow drag my feet to my bed I cry I lay perfectly still, knowing this way she can't win Knowing I'll wake up the next day every day just to spite her, to show her I won't let her be the thing that kills me.