fuzzies

There are different sorts of fuzzies

The Morgan Fuzzies

The Girl Fuzzies

She’s felt the Morgan Fuzzies 

Many times before

Morgan

Candy

Jocelyn

They’re frivolous fuzzies

Cute fuzzies

Nothing fuzzies

Then there’s The Girl Fuzzies

The Fuckface Fuzzies

The fuzzies she’s felt only felt

Twice in twenty years

The fuzzies that make her question

What the universe has in store

The fuzzies that make her want

To get married

To have kids

To have a home

The fuzzies that make her feel

Like she’s home

The fuzzies she feels in her gut

The fuzzies that feel like warmth

When she looks at him

She can see a future

She can see snuggling up against her

She can see holding his hand

Saying “I do”

Growing humans

Growing old

With him

Feelings she’s only felt with The Girl

She wonders if she’ll always hold on

To the feelings she felt

She’s moved on from The Girl

She’ll move on from Fuckface

But she still can’t say The Girl’s name

A part of her still loves The Girl

Will a part of her always love The Girl?

Will it be the same with him?

Will she fall in love and forget them?

She certainly has a type

Unattainable

18 years old, recently out, and always online

Falling, falling, falling

23 years old, college dropout, and confident

3,000 miles between them

Young in love

Old in lust

Another becomes available 

Easier

It never meant anything to her

She kisses another girl on Snap

Heart-broken youth

Two years pass

20 years old, gaining confidence, and knowing herself

Falling, falling, falling

26 years old, goofy manager

A job between them

Young in love

Who knows about old

Irrelevant

Confused youth moves

Cheaper school

No rent

Heartbroken youth

She’s sad to leave her friends

Jericho

Chris

Mark

Hailey

Lottie

Oh Jesus Christ

Lottie

She’s heartbroken

To leave her “what if”

What if

What if

What if

She has a type and she prays

She prays one day will come when

Unattainable becomes attainable

And heartbroken youth is no more

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741