“I came up with the funniest rape joke last night,
It was hidden in the sides of my throat
where he squeezed while laughing,
it was written in cursive on every inch of my dress
that he so well-intededly pulled at,
and I heard it in my voice
as I counted down my reasons
telling him why I didn’t want it.
I heard a hilarious rape joke the other day,
it was tucked away in a tent
where another boy pulled me into it,
2 years in a row,
and played pretend
with stained hands and blurred memories
of innocence lost
and the joke was shoved in my mouth,
from family and friends who I over hear
blame victims for what they were wearing,
despite the fact that I was only a child,
a broken glass doll,
who couldn’t even dress herself.
The funniest rape joke I’ve heard,
was in my 5th hospitalization
where all the girls I was with
had been assaulted in one way or another.
These jokes, these riddles, and this mocking
is a fucking joke itself.
Never once was I laughing at 15 when the man raped me,
Not for a second was I giggling at 7 when the boy molested and violated me
and I didn’t smile one bit as I was labeled with PTSD
and not ONCE have I heard of any other rape survivors laughing
while being stripped of layers, dreaming of joys
they may never feel again,
and I hope to god you are not laughing.