I wanted to say, “I’m sorry” for the longest amount of time.
I wanted to talk,
To know how this crumbled under a fault of mine.
Somehow I knew –
You didn’t care
You blamed me
You thought it was you.
So we left unspoken words in the air,
And wrote them on walls,
The only words from our mouths civil for society’s sake.
So for the barbaric things,
You set your chihuahua on me,
The only one out of the mangled tricycle who was fake.
She called me “bitch”
She called me “whore”
She said things you wanted
To your best friend from before.
Laughing behind cold eyes
That I used to make smile
But they haven’t showed kindness since that day –
They haven’t liked me for a while.
Now I know that hatred reigns true
Since you writ permanently in cyberspace
How much you hated my fucking guts
And how you didn’t understand how this happened to you.
You used to make me upset
Because you were an important part of me that died.
And I still have dreams
Where everything has been a lie
Where we settled our differences
And became friends,
Like it was before the end.
I want you to know that you’re right.
I am fat.
I am stupid.
I am ugly.
Now laugh as you watch me cry.