I wanted to say, “I’m sorry” for the longest amount of time.

I wanted to talk,

To explain,

To know how this crumbled under a fault of mine.

Somehow I knew –

You didn’t care

You blamed me

You thought it was you.

So we left unspoken words in the air,

And wrote them on walls,

In anger,

Despair,

The only words from our mouths civil for society’s sake.

So for the barbaric things,

You set your chihuahua on me,

The only one out of the mangled tricycle who was fake.

She called me “bitch”

She called me “whore”

She said things you wanted

To your best friend from before.

Laughing behind cold eyes

That I used to make smile

But they haven’t showed kindness since that day –

They haven’t liked me for a while.

Now I know that hatred reigns true

Since you writ permanently in cyberspace

How much you hated my fucking guts

And how you didn’t understand how this happened to you.

You used to make me upset

Because you were an important part of me that died.

And I still have dreams

Where everything has been a lie

Where we settled our differences

And became friends,

Without her,

Like it was before the end.

But now,

I want you to know that you’re right.

I am fat.

I am stupid.

I am ugly.

Now laugh as you watch me cry.