Scared, broken and limp
I watch Megan bend over the toilet bowl choking
This isn’t the first, second, or third time
And it sure won’t be the last.
Obsessed with control
She sticks her frail fingers down her throat once more,
Till the liquids stream out of her throat.
She wants to be in control of her calories
She wants to be thin like the others
But when will she stop?
She hurts everyone around her.
We plead for her to discontinue her habits
But she won’t
She wants to control her own body.
When will she realize that it’s selfish?
That our mother cries herself to sleep,
That I go numb every time I hear the gag noise,
How even our neighbors are aware of her disease.
It’s gotten to the point normal life just isn’t an option
She needs help,
We need help
Our family needs to be pieced back together.
But I am afraid even a professional can’t figure out this puzzle,
For we are all in shatters.
Color full pieces of life once whole,
Are now no longer together.
Just fragments of memories.