Fri, 09/25/2015 - 16:32 -- tcrines

I am forlorn


I allow my studies to consume my entire being,

A way of sidestepping true feelings


I tread through life pretending,

Pretending that I am joyous or pleased


I surround myself with people,

Not wanting to face myself


I am Forlorn


Everyday I put on my disguise,

Throw up my iron walls


For none shall pass,

None shall penetrate the real me


The fear of who I really am,

That fear that haunts my soul


What if the person I so desperately want to be,


Is not who I really am? 


I am forlorn


My forsaken eyes no longer see happiness or wonder,

Their focus of death and dismay


No longer a prance in my stride,

The unwillingness to place right in front of left


My head is not high, my shoulders are not back,


No longer do I welcome the day with open arms


I am forlorn for the time


I shan't sing in the shower,

Nor dance in my underwear


I shan’t embrace friendship

Nor the love of another


I shan’t allow myself to forget those joyous memories

For I hold them with tight fists until that faithful day


When I finally decide to expel forlorn from my life,


The day when I am completely and utterly joyous

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