Forgetting Hope

Sometimes,

I hope

Because sometimes 

That is the only thing to do

I hope that you will be forgotten

Forgotten in the dust I kicked up

Running from you

I hope no one can see you through

The cloud of smoke and dirt

I hope no one has to fear you

Like I have feared you

Like I fear you now

Sometimes, 

I hope

You can leave my head 

Because you are making me sick

You make me sick

Sick to my stomache and sick to my head

And when I think I can heave no more 

When I think I can get up from the floor

More memories resurface 

And are thrown up

Into the toilet 

But when I flush it

They get stuck

Clogged 

Like the words in my throat

Scratching, making it raw

But with your hand

You shove them back down

Before they can be spoken 

You make me choke

Make me stomache them once more

-ally

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