This part of the forest is my home. I know every nook and cranny.Everything here is beautiful and uncomplicated. I have never envisioned living outside this realm nor do I think I could due the amount of time I've spent here. I have set it up so well and comfortable that I think I will spend the rest of my life here.Others would be envious. I desire nothing else.
I hear a rumble behind me. I turn quickly to see a tree falling. While watching the tree fall in disbelief, I hear others falling behind me.All I hear is crackling everywhere. As sunlight fades quickly I wonder what has happened. Unable to move, I become scared. What has happened to the forest. As I make my way slowly out of the destruction I notice saw cuts at the bottom of the fallen trees. Who,why and how are now my secondary thoughts. Primary thoughts are to make my way out of the debris without getting hurt. As I make my way out I notice that the whole forest has not been felled. Only my area of sanctuary. My stomach sinks and I feel nauseous. I realize it was I who out of disregard and threw caution to the wind had scarred the trees around me. My home is gone.Everything I own and love are still there in the rubble. All I bring out of the wreck is memories and questions.
As the wreckage shifts, I find I can no longer reenter. I had prepared for every event except this. I stumble through unfamiliar brush. Unknowing of what lurks behind every new branch I am still scared. I must keep moving though.Still dark and with no compass, I trudge along. The only guidance I have are distant voices giving me vague directions. I sit for a moment to gather my thoughts still recovering from shock. I lower my head and breath in wiping the tears back.Most of the shock has surpassed yet my mind is foggy. A safe haven is momentarily all I need now to recoup. As I raise my head again I smell smoke. Instead of feeling fear I somehow feel relieved.It has to be due to my positivity . I follow the smell along with the distant directions.I see an encampment . Oddly enough I discover that the distant voices were coming from my old lair. Someone was still looking out for me. I approach the encampment with the same amount of fear as I had in the dark underbrush. I knock and am greeted with and emotionless hand. I was accepted and allowed to stay as long as I needed.OMG I am so relieved. As this not being my home, I still feel out of place and nervous. Slowly I see that the people here are here for the same reason as I am. They have all somehow become lost in the forest or cant find their way.Some have merely taken the wrong path and is staying here as a layover.
I settle in and try to figure out what I need to do next. Do I rebuild? Do I just walk around aimlessly or do I stay here ? I can never rebuild what I had earlier. Even if I replicated it, It would never be the same.Time goes by and I feel a little more comfortable with my surroundings. My thoughts are filled with what has happened and how I ended up here.With no prospects I find this is perfect time for reflection.What I see is very clear now just as the old quote"cant see the forest through the trees". It could fill an entire book so I will leave it for later. That is a book I will write. I love All the characters in it too. The few future plans that I have come up with ,all require me to stay here for awhile. One of the plans was to awaken a dormant thought of rebuilding in an area with no paths. My prior confidant and I had toyed with this idea for awhile and never knew if it was just a pipe dream or a possible reality. I knew if anyone could do it then it would be us.We never acted on it due to building our old paradise took all of our time and resources.
I start to help more with the encampment. I try to help with some of the travelers in their predicament . All I had to offer was some knowledge and a lot of experience .It was taxing because I was still not comfortable with myself and my future. Yet MY future had nothing to do with these people but my past experiences was a valuable commodity. I venture out further and further from the encampment with confidence. I discover that all the normal activities are all new to me again. This really is starting over. I spend the next year helping in the encampment with new tools and trying to make it more welcome for new travelers.I see people come and go. I develop strong bonds with some , just to watch them leave and go on their pathway to whatever destination it is they are going. It is bittersweet.I learn to be a little more distant with them as I am used to the departures. During this time , I have been preparing and collecting things to fulfill this pipe dream of ours. I was to do it alone now but feel it would be accepted as a major accomplishment from all parties concerned. My pipe dream would also serve as a fact that it could be done. I will show all that it is in fact not a pipe dream but a unattempted reality. I am feeling better about myself and where I was going. My confidence has opened up other mental doorways in myself. Things that I merely recall having but not been using in recent years. I still feel for my old den and its beauty. I still miss it and always will. Guilt of neglect is slowly eating me away. Some regrowth is taking place but not all will grow back. A permanent loss
Everything I'm doing now seems mundane and tedious yet has to be ,during my preparation of pipe dream land. Nothing new is happening. I feel I'm slowly stagnating.All that is why I was excited to discover a new path.It was kinda covered up with brush and seems like I wasn't supposed to enter.I entered anyway. I was amazed .It was an intriguing path.Still not knowing whether I was supposed to be there I continued with skepticism. Every step was full of discovery. Do I stay and discover more or do I leave and stick with my with my plan. The plan could not allow for time deviations. As I pondered this I notice some litter in the area. I was appalled . Who could litter and disrespect this area. I started to clean a little. There wasn't a lot but enough to hinder the beauty of this new place. As I look around, everything looks so new yet familiar. I feel I need to be here for some reason.Old feelings once lost are now reappearing. The path looks fresh and seems to be work in progress. I feel like I'm trespassing at times yet feel like I was summoned here so I stay.The encampment seemed a bit more colorful now. Even though I was still preparing ,the time was no longer mundane and tedious.This path had an odd appeal to it. Like I've been there before. It looked just like the path to my old home did. Is this a trick or a trap? Something inside me said no and never questioned it again. The longer I was here , the more distant the pipe dream became. I was to never abandon the dream but thought of it less.I would spend more time prepping for the new path. Everyday was something new again. Good memories from the past would make their way into this new bliss. Each day was filled with making this path longer. The further I went the more I wanted to stay. I've worn out several machetes now but seem to have an endless supply. I do not tire .I see no goal or end but I love it here. I have stepped on things on the way and have had numerous cuts They seem trivial. The hardest paths lead you to the most beautiful destinations. This is what keeps me going. Coincidentally this path is parallel to my other path so it wouldn't take much to make a shortcut over. Periodically
The word trespass keeps popping up.I wish to continue this path and its unforeseen direction. I have noticed that the machetes wear down quicker and friction embers have appeared at times. The embers are what I'm concerned about. Embers can turn into fire if not nipped in the bud. I truly believe that it is only this particular part of the path that is this difficult and not the rest of it. This is where I stand now. Pipe path not to far away to the left. A briar patch in front of me . Or start a new path to the right. I will stand at the end of this path till further notice.