Thu, 12/04/2014 - 01:36 -- kay na


I am a grey sky-cloudless town suicide junkie

with an extensive mental health history

I've got plenty to say.

I am goat lover enthusiast

and patient enough to watch the tide from dusk to dawn,

but not enough for daisy chains or complicated braids.

I am badly painted fingernails, wearing analog watches and a coat of insecurity.

I am never a people-pleaser, wishing I were,

and very sure about the paranormal.

Hate walking, love getting lost in it, openly claims to be a tree.

I am non permanent, erasable and ever changing.

Like water.

I am smoking without a filter and tiptoeing on railroad tracks;

greasy hair and pearl nose ring.

I am dying young,

not really,

sometimes really,

but most days not.

Grown lonely living in a carcass, rotting inside out,

crying about it.

I am reading the Cragislist personals, feet on the dashboard, blood on the bed sheet,

not given enough love.

I am ex piano player— we broke up,

stealing cheap jewelry, buzzed off white wine and champagne.

I am high off drugs and religion, couldn’t think of a better prayer.

I am crumpling loose leaf paper, so imperfect,

I am the product of an umpteenth amount of reincarnations.

Noon-riser, still tired, always tired, couldn’t ever get enough sleep.

I am a poet recovering from a heavy heart that sank like a 2 ton stone under water.

I’m really just an ugly kid who fell a little too hard,

Jesus Christ, I speak far to much of god and being in love. Those are 2 different things.

I am flawless.


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741