Do you ever get vivid flashbacks?

Not just a daydream but something that seems to almost twist time itself?

I felt it then as I did numerous times

my surroundings started to blurr, I didn't even hear anyone talking anymore

all that was in my mind was that old memory, good or bad, I was stuck in that moment

I could feel my face shrivel in disgust, as a result

eventually something would bring me back

and I would look around, wondering how ridiculous I must have looked in that very moment

Although, I found myself smiling from time to time, remembering my old friends and the laughter we shared, almost constantly.

All too soon I knew the smile would turn into a frown as I would remember those memories were stained red with the remains of my reputation.

I don't feel like dealing with my past anymore

I was never that person and I know I was in the wrong place

but they don't know that

they don't know I have changed

So I'm left in a purgatory of sorts

free from my sins but yet I still have to face them everyday