Flash Backs

Rain runs down my face masking the trail of tears,

Thunder rolls drowning out the sound of my screams.

Lightning streaks flashing the pain in her eyes,

Facing this head on is the only way i know…

 

The memories come and go flashing through my mind,

Tearing me up from the inside out.

I run my hands through my drenched hair,

It falls into my face like a mask covering my vulnerability.

 

I look into her eyes seeing love and concern,

I look into his eyes seeing hunger and lust.

Back to her arms feeling comfort and safety,

To his feeling trapped and scared.

 

I flinch away from her hand,

For i’m still feeling his… 

I bury my head into her arms feeling another wave,

I’m shaking from fear.. This one will be bad…

 

His body pressing down on me smothering me,

Her voice telling me to breath that she’s here.

His eyes burning into my skin… Setting me on fire,

Her hands running through my hair.

 

The thunder booms again throwing me back to him,

My chest on fire… heart racing… body crying out.

I struggle to break free of his grasp of this nightmare,

My tears run down my cheeks coating his pillow.

 

I come back to her “it’ll be okay don’t cry,”

"Don’t cry" he tells me as he pushes himself on me.

"That’s my girl" he whispers causing me to whimper,

His body repulses me…

 

I push myself farther into the mattress,

Pushing down so hard I feel as if my spine will snap.

Back to her finding myself arching into her arms,

Feeling as if all the safety in the world is in her embrace.

 

Lightning flashes, lighting the world,

I see myself in her eyes… A total mess.

Back to him as he finally finishes,

My body cries out just as my eyes do…

 

I beg him to let me leave,

He tells me the same thing he always does.

"If you tell i’ll kill you,"

I don’t bother telling him i’m already dead…

 

I whimper agreeing to stay silent,

"good girl," he says… 

My heart clenches as I stay straight faced,

Those words repulsing me…

 

I grab my clothes and run,

My mind flashes back to reality.

She holds me closer and whispers “it’s okay love,”

The rain runs down both our faces.

 

My mind conflicted still sorting it all out,

What’s real… What’s not.

I try to calm my racing heart,

Relishing in the sound of her voice.

 

I lay there in your arms…

You bringing me back to my body,

You help me into the house.

Helping me out of my wet clothes…

 

You tend to me.. 

Saving me body and soul,

My only hope is that you’ll stay,

And that I haven’t chased you away.

 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741