First Love

He was my first love
We started out as a pair
Then became a situationship
It was emotionally unfair.
He knew I loved him
From age 14 to 18
He didn't even love me back
It still felt obscene.
When he finally told me
That he did love me back
He didn't even try to leave his wife
It was an emotional attack.
How do I know he would
Have never married another girl
And had kids with them too
If he truly loved me back.
Because I used to feel
Like an afterthought,
A side piece, a mistress,
Completely distraught.
So many precious days
I can never have again
Because I wasted so much time
On my first love and supposed best friend.
Hoping for something that was never real
A fantasy that was too good to be true
No matter how long I wished and waited for him
I should have opened my eyes too.

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