there were days where i wanted nothing more

than to down a bottle of laundy detergent

and close my eyes to block out the sunlight

as i lay sprawled like a starfish in that shallow field of grass, 

slowing losing life and regenerating back into the earth. 

i couldnt possibly understand how things would get better,

but then i remembered the little girl i used to be

and if anything, i owed it to her that i would find her, 

i would put her picture on my milk carton 

every morning if that's what it took,

because she deserved closure. 

she was always the better half of me. 

she's still out there somewhere, 

she's still in here somehow, 

and i owe it to her to pour that bottle out

and take her home, where she belongs.