The craziest thing happens when I like someone.

I start to look to the future.

A future where me and that person are together.

A future where me and that person are reaching our goals. 

A future where me and that person eventually reach an old age and talk about the memories we’ve made.

A happily ever after if you will.

I have no clue as to why I do this.

I mean, I barely know the person.

Yet, my mind intensifies this interest I have and makes it feel like I’ve known the person my whole life.

It’s weird, isn’t it?

How something so simple can turn dramatic.

As if I was cast under a spell that makes me believe they’re the one.

As if my purpose revolves around them and them only.

I guess all of this happens because of the simple fact that I’m in a state of loneliness.

I mean I have family that I can rely on, but my love life is just nonexistent.

Can’t really say it ever existed to begin with.

I tell myself to just let the right person come to me.

That fantasizing about a future with someone before knowing them is a setup for a broken heart.

Pursuing someone who may or may not be interested in me shouldn’t be my priority.

After all, forcing love to happen will only make me miserable in the end.

Even though I know all of this, I still put my feelings first.

Although, sometimes I hold my feelings in.

Fearing the worst possible outcome.

That the person may feel I’m coming on too strong and reject me.

Now, I do sometimes remind myself that rejection is a part of life and that I shouldn’t get emotional over it.

That one person saying “No” isn’t the end of the world.

But when my feelings are in the front seat, how can I not overreact?

I mean this is someone that I thought would be by my side for years to come.

“Thought” is the keyword.

My imagination is so into romance stories and happy endings so me feeling this way starts to make sense.

After all, I do want that special someone to call my soulmate.

But I guess for now, I’ll have to wait.

I’ll have to wait until I know someone well enough before I let my feelings take control.

Until then, I’ll just have to put my feelings in the backseat and just let them observe.