The men in my life are merging into one.
A nameless ball of fumbling emotions all searching for an unachievable unavailable finish line.
A rope cut in half by a mischievous misfit.
I'm sure he's still laughing now
Watching the nameless roll into infinity searching for something he's long ago stolen away.
I see father as a cluster of words merged into one.
Father.
Blank Canvas.
Father.
Unavailable.
Father.
Workahaulic.
Three different definitions blending into a supernova of not gonna make it.
The one definition missing is permanent.
A common misconception is that I care.
The problem is that I've become immune to expectations.
Father is a surprise.
Father is a disappointment.
Father is a carried notion in the wind.
Daughter is definite.
Daughter is definitive.
You are or you aren't.
I am.
I am daughter of moments spectacular and disastrous.
I am daughter of hope and disappointment.
I am the product of desensitization.
I am numb.
Father is unavailable.