It's been 148 days
everyday feels like the first without you.
I've realised all I have been is numb
because I won't let anyone or anything in,
and my lack of senses
can be concerning.
Being numb is depressing
It helps you explore your mind
as you uncover hidden memories
that were once fresh.
Numbness can also be a curse
with its definite lengths
and ability to reach your demons.
You’re completely trapped in your mind
until it becomes clear
you are your worst fear.
I was day dreaming today,
when your face crossed my mind.
Nobody noticed when I pulled the
empty chair next to me for you to sit in.
You made me happy for a second,
then I remembered
and my smile faded along
with your laugh.
I’m sorry I couldn't save you.
I’m sorry we never got to say goodbye.
I’m sorry our memories are limited.
I’m sorry that I forgot what you sound like.
I’m sorry I haven't remembered everything yet.
Maybe if you knew how it would've been
you wouldn't have left.
But you did
and I still live
haunted by what you left behind.