Expression ... the old me

John 14:16-17 16 Then I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot accept, because it does not see him or know him. But you know him, because he resides with you and will be in you.

Ezekiel 36:26 

26 I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit within you. I will remove the heart of stone from your body and give you a heart of flesh.

 

 Without it Salvation to most is a word, that has a certain meaning.

“I am delivered from my sins" but do I know what that means?

I was told that “I was lost” and that I understood, maybe?

Well I knew where I was right then ... so my lost-ness was not here.

 

Well, I was made to feel guilty and I wanted to be different.

By different I mean ... different from myself.

How can I explain and make you understand.

“You need to die so you may live” and that explains itself?

 

The more we talk ... the more confused our explanation gets.

So we by ourselves ... can’t witness truth at all.

It takes God Himself to open understanding

and to tenderize conscience ... for He saves after all.

 

God saves out of Himself ... me into Himself.

He cuts me off from self ... to deliver me from self.

United with Him in and in Him ... to be seated in Christ Jesus,

Who is seated next to Him ... in the Eternal made in self.

 

Now I sit here myself ... writing to myself

and I feel just myself ... as I meditate by myself

but I am not by myself ... if I invite myself

to be out of myself ... so not to be lost in self.

 

Self is oft the enemy of God and a Godly life so made impossible.

God’s Life has no way to express itself ... unless the created is completely denied.

Nature and daily life’s activities ... enslave the real self from serving

the true purpose and the call ... which the world denies.

 

Everything from the created ... must surely be relinquished

so that the created will ... enjoys solely in the Creator.

For greatness does not depend on how much we have gathered

but how much we have lost ... and that we will see later.

 

Our spiritual life shall be stunted if we don’t lose ourselves.

We have no intention ... or experience in that.

Who am I in reality? Am I ... what I will for?

Am I ... what I desire? Am I in my will ... just that?

 

Do I belong to the natural ... am I antithetical

completely set ... against the life God wills.

Am I irrational? ... Worldly alphabetical

only given to interest ... as in my own will.

 

Self is where the problem lies ... we are our own worst enemy.

We are looking at the outside ... for the forces of destruction

which eat at our inside ... and poison our whole being

spreading through our entirety ... to take over all instruction.

 

As self thinks to control the will ... he has another thing coming.

Your will is owned by whom you follow and whose instruction you take.

The will is part of the natural ... like mind and emotion

inspiration is far removed from it ... thus flesh is its commonplace.

 

The Life of God can’t express itself ... unless there is the inspiration.

Inspiration will not come ... unless the natural is denied,

activated of the created one ... is the greatest hindrance

if we have no intention ... to lose ourselves in flight.

 

The will stands on its own ... but in what foundation.

It gets bombarded from all sides ... and clearly sees its foes.

Its friends are camouflaged like it ... for that is truly natural

so the foe it sees is not like it ... in completely different clothes.

 

Its foe is dressed in white ... its purity just glitters

against a background of black and gray ... like a blinding light.

If I close my eyes the light is gone and I fight in my own blindness

against the foe, that I can’t see, with powers of darkness on his side.

 

I am what I desire ... and what I am willing for.

This is my heart defined ... for everyone to know.

I cannot hide this fact for it is written in my actions

and I can’t stop this movement ... until I reach my goal.

 

The goal will get more clouded ... the more I compromise.

The goal will keep on growing ... until it possesses me.

I am rendered helpless ... overtaken by own desires

until my mind is reprobate and my demise feels like being free.

 

The world calls me natural ... like it is some compliment.

God just sees me as lost ... not able to recognize the Truth.

Satan has a hay-day ... as he elevates folks like me

to positions of leadership as there is nothing left to lose.

 

The end of the day is here now ... before the day begins.

Darkness rules the world ... even though God can over-rule.

One thing deems for sure that we reap what we have sowed

and as we slurp that poison ... it seems never enough to get full.

 

 

Jan Wienen

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My community

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