Exist

Why didn’t we exist?

You told me to read between the lines while you fed me lies,

But I held on desperately.

The rope you had thrown me was fraying and ground down to single threads in the middle,

But it was what you had given me to work with.

Your gifts were plentiful,

Laced with subliminal messages I should have picked up on sooner.

I never was the smartest, the fastest, the most beautiful;

But according to you, I was enough.

 

Why didn’t we exist?

Your influence on me was positive.

You taught me to fight not with fists, but words.

To stand up for myself, my friends, and those who could not.

For you.

 

 

 

 

 

You called me your knight in shining armor,

But you were never in need of protection.

The night the lights set in,

When the brilliance of your words finally hit home,

You stood up for yourself.

Became yourself.

A horrifying, twisted creature spewing venom at those who tried to help;

One who threw up icy barricades to keep us at bay.

Who tore through our shields with steel claws lined with barbs.

You never needed our protection,

You simply wanted everything we had and what we could never give.

 

We existed, but you resisted.

You recoiled from my touch as though I had burned you.

Slapped away the hands of the one person who loved you so much more than I ever could.

In a single blow, you stripped their confidence.

Their love; their trust.

I couldn’t protect you from hurting yourself.

But now that you’re gone,

It’s almost as if you never existed.

I wish we never existed.