When I look at you, I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face.

 

I’m in awe.

I’m in awe of you - your beauty, your talent, your kindness.

I’m in awe of me, and how far I’ve come, and how worth it it is to feel free.

 

I’ve spent too long chained inside my mind, fighting the past

When the future was there, waiting to be embraced all along.

 

But I spent too much time worrying instead of living

Blaming instead of accomplishing

Fearing instead of loving.

 

Loving myself, and loving you.

 

I used to live in a house where the lights were always off, the tv always screaming static, and unknown monsters were breathing under the staircase.

 

The monsters had a name that I wouldn’t let myself let go of.

I thought I couldn’t let myself let go of.

But I was wrong.

 

Monsters have no place in your mind.

They don’t pay rent; evict them.

 

You’re the tenant of your own body.

They don’t pay rent; evict them.

 

You deserve sunlight, and silence and everything else you can give yourself.

They don’t pay rent; evict them.

 

I’m not mad at my past.

It has brought me to you.

It has brought me to communication and respected boundaries and hand holds that never evolve into anything more than a hand hold.

 

This is my mind.

This is my life.

I get to choose who to share it with.

And that person is you.