People are curious , I get that
So ask me, ask whatever but make sure you add these quotes to your list of questions...
Notice I said quotes, as in, these words have passed through someone's lips
As in, they have been heard and answered.
They usually start with, don't take this personally like I'm not to be offended, or forgive me for saying this, like they're entitled to my forgiveness.
But I listen and answer and be patient with their ignorance, them... Narrow minded, not trying to accept how someone can be stuck in the opposite sex such as me, me...
Yeah I said it, I'm transgender, I bet you're curious.
So add to your list of questions these quotes of things I have experienced .

"I don't understand, you're telling me you wish you had a penis?"

I'm telling you I feel like I should've been born with a penis, a ballsack and testosterone just to name a few to begin with,

"So... You're choosing to be like this?"

Yes! You got me ! I was wondering when someone would catch on, how couldn't they see through my depression, anxiety, medication, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, cutting, seclusion and breakdowns that I actually wanted to be this way?
Those dummies, you're the smart one!
Yes, I chose to be this way, thanks for taking notice.
Then I look at that person dumbfounded they didn't see through my sarcasm or the fact that I have emotion. I feel the hurt when I am discriminated against. I feel the hurt looking in the mirror and seeing a feminine body flaunt back at me the truth that I will never be what u want to be. So no, I did not choose to be me.

"Hmmm... What bathroom do you use?"

Ohh you know, that one bathroom. The one that's for the people who are different, idk,, you tell me 'oh normal one' which bathroom to use and while you're at it, explain to me the regulations of this society, because at least by the way I see, it's structured in such a way that straights have their normality but the lgbt have to "come out" like we can't have our privacy.
Oh, you want me to come out my closet? So come out of yours, and explain to me how this system came to be yours. Why isn't it everyone's? Because the way it is now, people like me have to fit into society when it should be the other way around.
So society makes me different and makes me choose between a male or female room,,
but be careful!
Don't scare the narrow minded! Don't mention the words unisex restrooms too soon or else they'll assume that this too will not fit into their society that I struggle to fit into.

And ohh, my most favorite question! Before I tell you this, I have to first give you a lesson. Especially if you were born make, listen to me close.
Give me a look of superiority, that's it, stick out your chest. Look down on me, that's right, cause you're the one that knows best. Wait till I tell you how I see myself in the future, how I'll have muscles and a beard, I'll have started testosterone once I'm a senior !
Now, as the last thing, come off as condescending and view me as the toddler with the crazy notion that one day they'll be the superman, an elephant, or even a king. Now, view yourself as the ruiner of dreams, the jerk who must know everything and tell then the realities.

"Don't you know you'll never be a true man?"

As if they're denying my whole being. YESS! I know, I'll always have some feminine things...
But don't "true men" have some femininity?
You make it see like the "man" that cheats on his wife with a women that he beats who is caring for only a few if his offspring if whom he rarely sees and thinks making up for all this mean stealing them a couple if treats off the streets,
Yes, that "man"!
You make it seem like he qualifies to be truly a man because if that undeniable length that swings with tag steps in his feet and stands to attention when he's forcing himself between young innocent knees.
A better question to ask me would've been, 'what makes a man? His gender, action, or the sex to which he was born?' Because when someone asks me, 'don't you know you'll never be a true man?' I just wanna sigh and say, tisk* tisk* , don't ask me, I'm just some little girl obviously confused on the meaning of what makes a man in this society.

"Why do you have to change?"

I try not to yell at you for the fact that you can't understand that for me, change is the only way!
I'm not changing who I am, just my appearances, for the people who see gender as black and white, male and female. Instead of the grey shades that makes up the feelings of the majority,
The grey shade that makes up the whole lgbt community, but be careful!
Don't scare the narrow minded! Don't tell then about all the other gender and sexual identities!
So close your mouth and eyes to imagine for a second. Imaging waking up to yourself naked, in the opposite sex, as your mind rejects your body and your body is filled with a sense of disgust, imagine your heart begins to beat roughly from the thought and realization that you are stuck, for me it's real,, 5:00 7:00 8:00 whenever I wake this is how I feel!
I can only imagine how it is to wake up with your body in agreement to what you know it always should have been. This is why I have to change l, to get a glimpse of how life could've been for me if I had been born male.

And lastly, the question

" why do you care for the MTFs, bisexuals, gay, lesbians or pansexuals,, any of them?"

Oh my god, have you been listening to me?? Everyone without the normal tendencies are in the same fight at me. Everyone is or had fought in this war and there are many cisgenders and straights who see the cause. We are all fighting for acknowledgement.
For the right to be a part or this society, not to find ways to tide in camouflage beneath it.
We are blacks, Hispanics, the poor, the exploited.
We are other than that .001% who put the limitations and guidelines on the life of you and me based on the conservative ideas of which they believe.
I have a question for you.
Are you fighting? Not only for me, the butch, or those guys who are obviously faggots, or that person who just outright doesn't belong, but are you fighting along with us and others on one simple idea,
Just because I have the same dream as Pinocchio doesn't mean I can't have the same as Martin Luther king.

So now, if you've got all this down, ask me a couple of questions from your list I know you must be dying to get out.

         ~ Elijah Crafter


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