I don't know why I feel sad

Emotionally I feel grey

My anxiety makes me feel sick

I keep having these dreams

I want to say I am ok

But I don't think I am

My mood spirals so quick 

I can't get a grip

I don't have motivation for anything 

Even the things I love I don't want to think about 

I'm ignoring my friends 

Not answering my phone

I go back and forth from feeling I can do anything 

To feeling I can't do anything 

Why is it so hard to truly feel happy